Hi there,
Welcome to the seventh issue of One Good Word from Dr. Dan.
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Today's issue is about luck (because we're at lucky issue #7.)
One Good Word
Back when my wife Elizabeth and I were dating, we went on a cruise with some friends. We visited the onboard casino and after a few spins on a slot machine, I won $1,000.
The group started celebrating, but instead of cashing out, my hand started to creep towards the spin button. I said "What if I keep going... and win even more?"
I was joking (mostly!), and I did cash out. But I did feel the temptation. The top jackpot on the machine was $10,000 - 10 times more than my measly $1,000. Should I really be satisfied with what I had?
I felt that same temptation with Elizabeth. Even in those early days of our relationship, it was clear that we had a remarkable compatibility, and I had never met anyone who matched me like her. But... maybe there was someone out there that would be 10 times better than Elizabeth. Should I really be satisfied with what I had?
I imagine that all of us feel that temptation at times. It's human nature to look at the grass in the other pasture, to wonder if we're "settling" for what we have. Perhaps if we get lucky, we can find something better.
But there will always be a bigger jackpot. There will always be something that seems better than what you have now. And even if you get lucky (instead of losing everything)... before long you'll find someone new to long for.
The answer, I think, is to change what better means.
Winning that $1,000 on the cruise was a life highlight for me; I love remembering how the whole group erupted in joy. That memory is the true jackpot. 50 years from now, my winnings will have been spent whether they were $1000 or $10,000. But that memory will still be mine to treasure.
And of course, the love that I share with Elizabeth is the true jackpot. I wouldn't love her more if she were "better" (whatever that means). 50 years from now, I won't be thinking about the human imperfections she has. I'll just be grateful for 50 years of memories.
Being lucky is fun. Getting the jackpot is fun.
But fun fades.
Joy, the real stuff, the kind that "sticks to your ribs"...
That comes when you realize what you already have.
Three Good Things
My conversation with Orion Kelly, a great discussion about the challenges autistic adults face in employment. Rinkworks, a gem from the classic internet. Humor, games, and more - Adventure Games Live and Things People Said are highlights. (You can safely ignore the warning about no SSL; it's just an old site.) Brita water filter, a recommendation I'm making purely because their social media team earned it. (Affiliate link.)
(Got a good thing you think other readers will enjoy or find helpful? Suggest it by replying directly to this email!)
Thanks for reading!
Okay, that was One Good Word #7! If you know anyone that might want to read this too, I'd appreciate you sharing the signup link with them.
Got thoughts, questions, or suggestions? Just reply directly to this email. I may not be able to respond to everyone (and I can't give clinical advice), but I do my best to read every email.
~ Dr. Dan
P.S Rinkworks was the first online community I was ever a part of; they were kind and inclusive to an awkward teenager and I'm very happy the site is still around!
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